“Better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self.”

“Pain changes shape, but it never disappears. You can’t control what hurts or breaks you, but you can control how you choose to move forward.”

"It's funny...I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty, bent, old tools—friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty—and said 'Do the best you can with these; they will have to do'. And mostly, against all odds, they do."

“Art is to console those who are broken by life.”

“Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

"To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of who they used to be: the people they're too exhausted to be any longer, the people they don't recognize inside themselves anymore, the people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into.

We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out (to become speedily found when they are lost), but it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be; it is our job to travel with them between each version and to honor what emerges along the way.

Sometimes, it will be an even more luminescent flame.

Sometimes, it will be a flicker that disappears and temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness."

“We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, with so little, for so long, that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.”

"Success and stagnation differ in one instrumental way: willingness to try again.

After discouragement, courage.

After disappointment, hope.

After frustration, persistence.

After hurt and heartache, healing. 

After failure, learning.

After exhaustion, recovery.

Remember, it’s not about falling, but faith in the unseeable and the fortitude to rise again and again and again."

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

"Life can only be understood backwards, but we have to live it forwards."

Those of us who write about leadership often stress the importance of trust and try to describe how it can be demonstrated: Listen. Ask questions. Keep your word. Don’t over-promise. Don’t micromanage. Don’t take credit for work others have done because your position entitles you to do so.

These are all important, but so are the kind of intangibles that can only be conveyed through physical presence, and which demonstrate trust in action. Gestures that say, I’m with you, I stand behind you, let me know what you need. These may be hard to describe, but we recognize them when we see them.

The World Series took place just two weeks ago, though given all that’s happened since then it seems longer. Yet it’s worth revisiting for the real-time demonstration it offered of what can happen when trust is conveyed by our bodies as well as our words.

I was watching the Series as a Yankee fan, which has been a mostly frustrating place to be since the Derek Jeter-Mariano Rivera era. So I felt deep disappointment as well as shock at how Game 5 unfolded, with New York basically giving away 5 runs in a comedy-of-errors 5th inning.

But the pivotal moment in the game came three innings after this meltdown. The Yankees had managed to wrestle back a one-run lead. Blake Treinen, the Dodgers’ relief pitcher, had been called from the bullpen in the middle of the 6th, after the previous reliever had managed to walk 3 Yankee batters. He secured the final out in that inning, then retired the Yankees in order in the 7th.

But in the 8th, he struggled, first allowing team leader Aaron Judge a double and then walking the great base-stealer Jazz Chisholm. With two runners on and only one out in the inning, the crowd at Yankee Stadium was roaring. Giancarlo Stanton, the Yankees’ most powerful hitter, who had been stellar throughout the post-season, was next at bat.

We all know what usually happens in this kind of situation. The pitching coach trots to the mound and gives the pitcher a brief nod. The pitcher then heads back to the dugout. This scenario was all the more likely given that Treinen was still feeling the effects of a rotator cuff tear in his pitching arm. 

But the usual scenario did not play out this time.

Instead, Dodgers manager Dave Roberts approached the mound and put his hands on Treinen’s shoulders. He held them there, taking his time, just looking at Treinen. The men exchanged a word, after which Roberts returned to the dugout, leaving Treinen where he was. The pitcher then ended the inning quickly and the Dodgers went on to score two runs in bottom of the 8th and win the game.

What we saw on that mound demonstrated as vividly as possible the physical nature of trust. As Roberts later explained, “I just wanted to feel Blake’s heartbeat, look in his eyes. Blake’s our guy, Blake’s been our guy. So I waited, and then asked, ‘How much more you got?' And he said, ‘I want it.’ And I trusted him.”

Trusting a team member who seems to be messing up a super high-stakes situation requires the ability to accurately read what’s going on. Dave Roberts understood he could best read the situation by feeling his pitcher’s heartbeat and looking into his eyes. In doing so, he also showed staunch solidarity: come what may, he would stand by Trenein and let him give it another try. This not only galvanized Treinen, it spurred on the rest of the team.

In the months and years ahead, as trust appears ever-more endangered, leaders who can demonstrate it— by words, deeds, gestures, and by the power of empathic notice— will be needed more than ever. Let’s hope that many of them were watching game 5 and took note.

“‘Gate lice’ is a slang term used in air travel to describe passengers who crowd around the boarding gate before their boarding group or zone is called. These passengers often gather in front of the gate long before boarding starts, creating congestion and frustration for others who are waiting for their turn or trying to pass through the area.

The term is humorous but a bit critical, likening the behavior to lice swarming together. It reflects the annoyance some travelers feel when people block the gate area, especially when boarding is often done in an orderly fashion by groups.”

"I was kidding James yesterday. I said he's about to pass from the role of regular human being into the role of a legend. And I think he really deserves it. More people are gonna have better jobs, people are gonna pay a little less for healthcare—get better care—and more kids are gonna go to better schools. So, thanks."

"I was 33 years old before I ever went to Washington or New York. I was 42 before I won my first campaign. And I'm happy for all of y'all. I'll never forget what y'all have done. Thank you."

“To live in the presence of great truths and eternal laws, to be led by permanent ideals, that is what keeps a man patient when the world ignores him and calm and unspoiled when the world praises him.”

“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather, what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking the ‘meaning’ of life, and instead think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. One could make a victory of those experiences, turning life into an inner triumph. Suffering had become a task on which we did not want to turn our backs.”

"Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."

"Keep in mind that culture is shaped not only by what we allow, but by what we are willing to accept. Always make it one's mission to ensure a healthy, efficient, positive and thriving work environment. To accomplish this, hold the line on doing the right thing for employees and culture overall. Everyone—starting with oneself and leaders—must be held to the same standard, lest integrity and accountability be cast to the wind."

“The book was called The Thirteen American Arguments: Enduring Debates That Define and Inspire Our Country. It came out in 2009; he wrote it mostly in 2007. And in 2020, he was out of the campaign trail and wrote me an email that read: 

'This is my tenth New Hampshire, starting with Gary Hart in 1984. I think I'm seeing the last reel of something in our politics. So I want to stick around for the big finale.'

Unfortunately, I think, you know, he would probably say that we might be seeing the last reel in 2024, and he's not going to be here for it. But remember, this was 2020.

I asked him what he meant by 'the last reel' and he said,

'The end of broad acceptance here and abroad of American exceptionalism, the idea that slavery, racism and ruthless economic and environmental exploitation notwithstanding, we were a once in a planet chance to create a great nation built on the best of human nature and the human mind. It's what I wrote from 2007-2009 in my entirely too optimistic book about America—that arguments would keep us free instead of ruining us. Now we're coming to accept the fact that we're just another corrupt empire. This was Howard Zinn's and the communists' and fascists' view all along, but the inspiring fiction and hope [that America once had] feels like it's slipping away. Do you feel that, John?'”

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."

"Ted Lasso isn’t just a coach; he’s a playbook on leadership. His infectious positivity and authenticity are a winning formula for any coach. He reminds us to stay curious, use humor to connect, and always be true to ourselves.

Here are 7 Leadership Lessons from Ted Lasso:

1: BRING POSITIVE ENERGY — Ted is incredibly positive and optimistic, even in adversity. He encourages his team to focus on their strengths and celebrate their successes, no matter how small.  

TL: 'I do love a locker room. It smells like potential.'

2: SHOW EMPATHY — Ted is empathetic and takes the time to get to know his players personally. It is all about RELATIONSHIPS with Ted.  

TL: 'Your body is like day-old rice. If it ain't warmed up properly, something real bad could happen.'

3: BE AUTHENTIC — Ted is authentic and genuine. He doesn't try to be anyone other than himself. He is honest with his players and colleagues, even when it's difficult.  

TL: 'You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. Do you know why? It's got a 10-second memory.'

4: USE HUMOR — Ted has a great sense of humor. He uses it to diffuse tension and bring his team together. He doesn't take himself too seriously and encourages his players to have fun and enjoy the game. 

TL: 'It's kind of like back in the '80s when bad meant good.'

5: BE COLLABORATIVE — Ted believes in collaboration and teamwork. He encourages his players to work together.  

TL: 'I promise you there is something worse out there than being sad, and that's being alone and being sad. Ain't no one in this room alone.'

6: BE A CONNECTOR — Ted is a connector of people. He understands that a connected team is a winning team.  

TL: 'If you care about someone, and you got a little love in your heart, there ain't nothing you can't get through together.'

7: BE CURIOUS! — Ted does not know it all. He does not have all the answers. He does have ALL of the questions. He is curious!  

TL: 'I feel like we fell out of the lucky tree and hit every branch on the way down, ended up in a pool of cash and Sour Patch Kids.'"

"blivet: noun; euphemism (plural, blivets). Anything overfull.

See, '10 pounds of sh*t in a 5-pound bag.'" 

In his phenomenal bestseller, "Iron John," Robert Bly captivated the nation with the wisdom embedded in a thousand-year-old fairy tale, creating both a cultural movement and publishing history. Now, in "Sibling Society," Bly turns to stories as unexpected as "Jack and the Beanstalk" and the Hindu tale of Ganesha to illustrate and illuminate the troubled soul of our nation itself.

What he shows us is a culture where adults remain children, and where children have no desire to become adults—a nation of squabbling siblings. Through his use of poetry and myth, Bly takes us beyond the sociological statistics and tired psychobabble to see our dilemma afresh. In this sibling culture that he describes, we tolerate no one above us and have no concern for anyone below us. Like sullen teenagers, we live in our peer group, glancing side to side, rather than upward, for direction.

We have brought down all forms of hierarchy because hierarchy is based on power, often abused. Yet with that leveling, we have also destroyed any willingness to look up or down. Without that "vertical gaze," as Bly calls it, we have no longing for the good, no deep understanding of evil. We shy away from great triumphs and deep sorrow. We have no elders and no children; no past and no future. What we are left with is spiritual flatness. The talk show replaces family. Instead of art, we have the Internet. In place of community, we have the mall.

By drawing upon such magnificent spirits as Pablo Neruda, Rumi, Emily Dickinson, and Ortega y Gasset, Bly manages to show us the beautiful possibilities of human existence, even as he reveals the harshest truths. Still, his probing is deeper and more unsettling than the usual cultural criticism. He finds that our economy's stimulation of adolescent envy and greed has changed us fundamentally. The Superego that once demanded high standards in our work and in our ethics no longer demands that we be good but merely "famous," bathed in the warm glow of superficial attention.

Driven by this insatiable need, and with no guidance toward the discipline required for genuine accomplishment, our young people are defeated before they begin. It is the young and disenfranchised who are most victimized by the sibling culture—our children, our elders, and those marked as "not us" by race and economic circumstance. In a phrase common to the ancient stories Bly uses to illustrate his themes, it is these people who we all too easily "throw out the window," but it is also these disenfranchised who will be waiting for us on the road ahead to claim their due.

A wake-up call, an inspiration, brilliantly original, "The Sibling Society" will capture the imagination and enliven our nation's cultural debate as no other book in years.

"If you died, your manager would put out a job posting in 48 hours looking for a replacement. Your friends and family will never get that chance. As much as your job is necessary, do not ignore the relationships where you remain irreplaceable."

"If you raise your children, you can spoil your grandchildren. But if you spoil your children, you'll have to raise your grandchildren."

“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom. I can feel the sadness like a fog rolling in, consuming everything, suffocating and thick. There is no escape, only the futile search for something that will dull the edges, if only for a moment.”

"If the truth shall kill them, let them die."

"Comfort is the worst addiction."

“I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.”

"All good writing in the end is the writer's argument with God."

“Maybe that’s what a ghost is: The absence of answers in the shape of a person.” 

"The culture of any organization is constrained by the worst behavior the leader is willing to tolerate." 

"Let parents, then, bequeath to their children not riches, but the spirit of reverence."

"MEANING is a combination of COHERENCE (which is to say why things happen the way they do), PURPOSE (goals and direction in your life) and SIGNIFICANCE (why you believe that your life matters).

One of the most important ways you can get those parts of meaning in your life, especially through work, is by working with other people, getting feedback, seeing expressions, having teams, creating common cause, etc. When you don't have the in-person experience, it's much harder to find meaning in your work. The result is you're more likely to say, "Eh, it's just a job, and you know what, if a better job came along, I'd want to take it and I'm kind of on the market." And guess what? Those are exactly the things that we see in much, much higher numbers than we've ever seen before.

Work satisfaction really comes from the idea that you're EARNING YOUR SUCCESS and that you're SERVING OTHER PEOPLE. Earning your success and making sure that other people recognize it is key. That's creating value with your career, creating value with your work, and bringing value to the lives of other people. You must be able to demonstrate this in order to be rewarded for it, and you're not going to be rewarded for it as much when you can't demonstrate it as convincingly. That's one of the reasons that being in-person is so critically important.

Serving other people is really important as well. There are the kinds of jobs where you actually will never see a client or a customer in person. But there are also jobs where you would have seen clients and people in person, but now you don't unless you choose to. You will be less satisfied with your job if you feel like you're serving people less, and you will feel like you're serving people less if you never see those people.

One of the great secrets to happiness is feeling like you're touching somebody else, and that requires that you have some physical contact with that other person as well. Again, our brains don't work in virtual 2D very well. They work in real life 3D, and that means if you're going to serve other people, you got to see those people."

“Thinking and talking about your problems all the time literally makes them grow. For example, a common symptom of depression is rumination—the pathological obsessing over one’s pain. That’s why something as simple as exercising or even running errands benefits mental health. Accomplishing ANYTHING can be so good for you, whereas sitting around talking, overthinking and dwelling on problems is a bad habit worth breaking.
 
The best cognitive behavioral therapists, dialectical behavioral therapists, consistently succeed by first helping patients break that habit and replacing it with actionable production. Unsuccessful therapists, on the other hand, often overindulge their patients, treating them more like recurring revenue streams or annuities rather than setting boundaries and the number of appointments in advance. 
 
When we give kids pills, oxygenate their problems, or cut them off from parents, grandparents, adversity, difficulty and the like, we sever them from the story of the human experience, which is a story of resilience and overcoming. 
 
An entire generation is losing the emotional scaffolding and musculature necessary to experience anxiety and overcome it. Despite (or perhaps because of) the unprecedented level of help from mental health experts, we have raised the loneliest, most anxious, depressed, pessimistic, helpless and fearful generation on record.”

“People do not decide their futures; they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.”

"People generally see what they look for and hear what they listen for."

“Failure is success in progress.”

“It really is true that you become the average of those you spend the most time with.”

“Inspiration exists, but it has to find us working.”

“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become king—the palace becomes a circus.”

“If you want peace, begin with farewells.”

"Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will."

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”

“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty. I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”

"The past is the present, isn't it? It's the future, too. We all try to lie out of that but life won't let us."

"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance."

“Always remember: Stressed is desserts spelled backwards.”

"My calendar is like my appetite: Overly ambitious and problematically so!"

"First I was certain of two things: death and taxes.

Then of three things: Death, taxes and resistance to change.

Now I'm certain of at least five things: Death, taxes, resistance to change, new Taylor Swift music and more Trump indictments."

“Bury me with no casket, no prayers, naked, face down, away from the world. I want no gravestone, nor my name engraved anywhere. No epitaph for those who don’t keep their promises.

When the envelopes have been delivered, you will be given a letter. The silence will be broken, a promise kept — and only then may you place a stone on my grave and engrave my name in the sun.”

“All gave some; some gave all.” 

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

"We have three choices: The coward's choice. Stay here and let the men just mess with our minds. The fool's choice. Go out and meet the invisible enemy on the road to the bullet farm. And the warrior's choice. Throw down and CRUSH him!"

"Do I make myself a blessing to everyone I meet?"

"Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!"

"Wealth comes in many forms; among them are: (1) Financial wealth (money), (2) Social wealth (status), (3) Time wealth (freedom), and (4) Physical wealth (health). 

Be wary of jobs that lure you in with 1 & 2 then rob you of 3 & 4."

“When leading organizational change, I prefer kinetic energy over potential energy because it’s leagues easier to redirect emotions—even difficult ones like frustration, anger, confusion, overwhelm—than it is to resurrect emotions in those who’ve become apathetic or died inside.

As my mother put it more than once upon meeting a strong-willed child, ‘Better a spitfire or a pistol than a dud!’”

"It's easier to tame wild mustangs than to raise the dead."

“There’s an employee out there who still thinks of you because you were kind to them. 

Never stop being that leader.”

“If you cannot think of one thing you can do better—pick humility.”

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

“The warrior is one who sacrifices himself for the good of others. His task is to take care of the elderly, the defenseless, those who can not provide for themselves, and above all, the children, the future of humanity."

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

“It is a waste of energy when we try to conform to a pattern. To conserve energy, we must be aware of how we dissipate energy.”

"My destination is no longer a place, but rather, a new way of seeing."

“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children."

“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.”

“If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.” 

"Leadership is not about pulling people to follow your path. It's about shining enough light for them to find their own route.

Bosses aim to wield power. They issue commands to maintain control.

Leaders strive to empower. They delegate authority to unleash potential."

"I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world."

"Stop expecting you from other people." 

“Confidence gives us influence. Ignorance gives us insights.”

"Wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it. Right is right, even if no one is doing it." 

"Until it's my turn, I will keep clapping for others. It's really that simple." 

“One tip I offer musicians is ‘If you’re stabbing someone in the back, you’re behind them. The guys up front don’t trash-talk.’

Disparaging others reveals how insecure, small, petty, scared, or jealous we are. 

Top performers in life—the confident, humble, truly capable ones—are not jealous types and don’t need to trash-talk others in order to make themselves feel better or look bigger. There’s no logic in pushing others down so that we might rise. Life ain’t no see-saw; it’s a rising tide whose aim is to inspire, carry forward, elevate, and to see that ALL boats rise and make it to the other side.”

"Beware of overconcern for money or position or glory. Someday you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. Then you will know how poor you are."

"If you want to make the wrong decision, ask everyone."

"Be careful who you let on your ship because some people will sink the entire ship simply because they can't be Captain."

"Nothing will kill a great employee faster than watching you tolerate a bad one."

“I think the things that have been the most meaningful are the ones I never made a penny on. They needed to be done — and that’s that.”

"I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt."

"I feel so fortunate to have gracious and merciful people with a lot of perspective and patience in my life. Connecting with those who are able to maintain a sense of humility is really useful."

"I believe no amount of business school training or work experience can teach what is ultimately a matter of personal character. Businesses are not dishonest or greedy, people are. Thus, a business, successful or not, is merely a reflection of the character of its leadership."

Officer Evangeline Navarro (Kali Raiss): "This [banquet of food] is amazing. What were you, Rose, before?"

Rose Aguineau (Fiona Shaw): "You mean...before I was old and crazy?"

Navarro: "No, I mean before Alaska. Your name isn't Rose Aguineau, is it? Ya never talk about it."

Rose: "Well, I was a very serious professor in a very serious school, writing very serious ideas."

Navarro: "Why'd you leave?"

Rose: "One Tuesday morning after coffee, I sat down to polish some pompous, useless article. And I just had enough. I had enough. Every word I'd written in my entire life was meaningless. Making so much noise. So much noise. It is a little quieter here. Mostly. Except for all the dead."

"Defining myself, as opposed to being defined by others, is one of the most difficult challenges I face."

"You gotta stay busy workin', but not doin' busy work!"

"There's a society of people who are reaching for something great, and then there's the record business." 

"I sing. And never forget that there's no such thing as happenstance. That's an illusion lawless and arrogant men invented so that they could sacrifice the truth of our world to the laws of reason."

"You don’t have to say anything. Many's the person who missed the opportunity to say nothing and lost much because of it."

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."

"They tried to bury me. They didn’t know I was a seed."

"When you see the world and you see the laws of brute necessity which govern it, you realize the only way that you can reconcile this veil of suffering, the only way you can reconcile it to sanity is to glue your soul to prayer."

"Reputation is a foreshadowing of our character for those who’ve yet to meet us."

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

"In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety."  

"When you have money, it’s nothing. When you have none, it’s everything."

"The only good race pace is suicide pace and today looks like a good day to die."

“My father used to say, ‘How you do anything is how you do everything.’” 

"Fall down seven times, get up eight."

"To know the road ahead, ask those coming back."

"Change is hard but irrelevance is harder."

"Some people change their ways when they see the light, others when they feel the heat."

“Things do not change; we change.”

“Behold the turtle! He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."

"Taking control of uncertainty and successfully steering your organization through frequent bends in the road is the fundamental leadership challenge of our time. And it will call for a distinctly different type of leadership than the one you were trained for and are likely currently exercising. The advantage now goes to those who don’t just learn to live with change, but who create change. I call these people catalysts."

“I tried to learn TikTok over the pandemic. My nieces love it, but they’re 13 and they're like, 'We'll show you, Aunt Kath,’ and they show me their phones and I watch them. If you've never seen TikTok, it's just a barrage of videos. And I put them down and they're like, 'You didn't like it, did you?' I go, 'Well, here's what I'll say about it: I feel like I just sat next to someone who did an eight ball! Nope. I'm a drinker, not a drugger, so nope.' And they go, like, 'Oh, are you saying it's, like, too much?' I go, 'Yeah, it's WAY too much. I...I can't process it.' They go, 'Yeah, but just because our videos are mostly dance and music and stuff. Like, you could build your own and it won't be as crazy.' I said, 'All right,' so I signed up, and I don't know how it decides what your first batch of videos is gonna be, but my first batch, all of my people were in hospice.

I like Instagram 'cause it's passive, pleasant, there's nothin' bad. People are nice on Instagram. It's beagles, puppies eating ice cream cones, and that kinda stuff.

Now, Twitter, I like that one, but it's aggressive. You better be ready! It's like walkin' into a bar at midnight and everybody's had shots except you: 'Well, well, look what the cat dragged in with a little opinion about nothin'!'

Facebook, I don't love it. I have it, for work, but I don't like Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, because I feel like he stole all our information. He sold it 17 times around the globe and he never paid a price for that. My parents like it, but they're 80. They get up in the morning, they drink coffee, and then they troll the entire family, every second cousin, third cousin, people we lived by when I was five. That's their morning entertainment. That's why I told my nieces and nephews, ‘Uh, heads up. If I were you guys, I would NOT friend Grandpa. Or Grandma for that matter. They look innocent and seem nice, but they're spies. They're gonna go through your whole feed, they're gonna read everything, and then they're gonna report back and tell your parents.”

"Friendship means little when it's convenient."

"Every action you take is a vote for the person you wish to become."

"Only the forgotten are ever really gone," so, if one loves others boundlessly, memories of her will reverberate throughout the ages and she shall prove immortal."

"Innovation needs space to dream, and maybe more important, space to make mistakes. Detours and complications create a deeper knowledge and understanding of your topic. If you only repeat what was successful before, you will probably never create something truly unique." 

"No matter where you plant them, people are emotional orchards that always bear fruit. The question is, 'What kind?'"

“The right thing to do is simple to see: Among all the options, it's the difficult one!”

"Reputation is a foreshadowing of our character for those who've yet to meet us."

"Tell me your habits and I'll tell you your future."

"Trust is the degree to which I believe you are for me."

"Everything we are doing we are becoming."

"Just as marriage further forms us, so too does our work."

"Oh, look at that snaggletooth! My goodness, you could eat corn through a fence!"

SNAKE RULES:

Rule #1: If you see a snake, shoot it.

Rule #2: Don’t play with dead snakes.

Rule #3: Everything looks like a snake at first.

About Rule #1:

The key is snake-killin’. What’s dangerous must die. End of story. Don’t set up a snake committee. Don’t listen to snake user groups. Don’t write snake essays or send snake memos. Don’t have conference calls about the snake. Don’t leave voice mails about the snake. Don’t have meetings about the snake. Just kill the damn snake already. If you perceive a mortal threat, waste no time. Attack it before it attacks you. You may find that getting rid of a snake can sometimes be a greater problem than the snake itself. People within a company LOVE to write memos about the snake. Don’t let ’em! Just kill, kill, kill, and kill again! It’s kill or be killed.

About Rule #2:

Keep going even if you’ve attacked the wrong threat or solved the wrong problem. That’s life. That’s learning. And after the snake is officially dead, don’t revisit it. Some people may insist that the snake is still around. They’re usually the same people who lost the argument and were overruled.

About Rule #3:

Most opportunities start out looking like a snake. If a threatening snake turns out not to be a problem, turn from attacking it to using it!

"Barksdaleisms"—

“In a fight between a bear and an alligator, it’s the terrain that determines who wins.”   

“Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.” 

“Never mistake a clear view for a short distance.” 

“Nobody that I know can predict the next two pings of the pinball.”

“He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.”

“He’s tighter than a bull’s ass at fly time.”

“Now, I’m the President around here, so if I say a chicken can pull a tractor trailer, your job is to hitch ’em up.” 

“If we have data, let’s look at data. If all we have are opinions, let’s go with mine.” 

“Your job is to run as fast as you can toward the cliff. My job is to move the cliff.” 

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” (Relentless focus on “the main thing” is a universal attribute of great operators. As an example of implementing this idea in a nonprofit context, Jim Barksdale has said: “…whatever they say to us about what’s going on here or there, our question is always, ‘But are the children learning to read?’ And we want to just stay focused on that.”)

Are our exclamation points out of hand?

See for yourself!

Charlie Ireland (agricultural consultant): “How's it feel?”

Jeremy Clarkson: “Well, I'll let you know in a minute, 'cause you're going to tell me the figures. You're going to give me the moment of truth. It hasn't been a great year for for farming, generally. I read in The Times yesterday [that] it's [been] the worst year for farmers since 1976. Dry summer.”

Ireland: “So, we're just gonna look at these top boxes. Look at the blue. And now I'm gonna frighten you. Last year, we made £226,000 from crop sales. That's before any costs. And this year's £137,000, so, £90,000 lower from the same area. That is £90,000 down.”

Clarkson: “It’s enormous.”

Ireland: “40% lower.”

Clarkson: “And £90,000 gone because of the weather. So, where are the costs, because how much?”

Ireland: “We spent £14,000 on seed, £34,000 on fertilizer, and £20,000 on sprays. So, £68,601. And then there's £68,457 of other costs: Kaleb, plus machinery. So, you've made £144 profit from the arable farm.”

Clarkson [incredulous]: “So, the fact of the matter is this: Farming seven days a week for a year, on a 1,000-acre farm, has generated an income of £144. Correct?”

Ireland: “Correct.”

Clarkson: “Well, fortunately, at the moment, we have this subsidy. When that goes, what are farmers going to do? I mean, honestly, what are they going to do? The ones who don't have Amazon film crews following them around and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? To top up the income? I mean, what do you do when the subsidy starts to go down?”

Ireland: “There will be… there's gonna be a sea change to the, rurally, you know, the countryside. There'll be 30% fewer farmers, probably, but that's where we are with farming in this day and age.”

Clarkson: “So, the next time a farmer moans about the weather, put your arm ‘round him and buy him a pint, because he's not moaning about it ‘cause it's a bit miserable working in the rain; he's moaning about it ‘cause it's crucifying. I've worked bloody hard all year and my reward is £144. Even with the grants and subsidies added in, I'd have been far better off selling up, putting the money in the bank, and living off the interest.”

[Harry Edwards:] "He would call me up and say, 'Harry, I was just thinking' and I would say, 'What do you want? What's goin' on?' or 'What do we got to talk about?' and, after a while, I came to respect his disposition."

[Arthur Ashe:] "You grow up Black in the American South, you have no control. Your life is proscribed. And then in the '60s, then you had Black ideologues trying to tell me what to do. All the time, I am saying to myself Hey, when do I get to decide what I want to do? and so I've always been fiercely protective with anyone wanting to control my life."

[Harry Edwards:] "Arthur was the fist person to really push me to understand that Black orthodoxy is not an acceptable substitute for institutionalized White racism... that it has to be about people having the freedom to make their OWN decisions in terms of how they approach this struggle. Otherwise, what are we fighting for?"

"Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see."

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum."

“Isn’t it amazing how far decent people will go when they’re sure they’re right.”

The person across from you has survived the unsurvivable, is wandering in the wilderness now, or is rapidly approaching violent waterfalls and unseen yet all-consuming plunge pools. In time, everyone drinks from the cup of sorrows.

AND WHEN THEY DO   — AND WHEN THEY DO —   may they also find in abundance there our spirits of patience, kindness, empathy, understanding, and love.

"Life has taught me one thing, Miss Scott: If you don’t want to be disappointed, only help those who help themselves."

"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become."

“Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance.”

“The artist will move future generations when the bones of kings have long since mouldered away.”

“Mozart is too easy for children, but too difficult for professionals.”

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”

"You're pushing on an open door, Colin."

"Best way's a long way gone now."

“Multilevel marketing is the village where everything is possible. The flip side of that is if everything is possible, nothing is true.”

"Appalachia is a wound, and a joy, and a poem.

A knot of complication.

But you cannot know a place without loving it, hating it,

and feeling everything in between.

You cannot understand the complex people by only looking at the way

they have been portrayed on the television and movie screens.

One must go to the mountains to drive these winding roads

One must sit and jaw for a while with folks on their front porches

Must attend weddings and high school graduations.

One must study the history of the place and come to understand it

Must sit at a wake and look at the lines on the faces of the people

and the callouses on their hands and understand the

Gestational and generational complexities

Of poverty and pride and culture.

Something inside you has to crack to let in the light so

your eyes and brains and heart can adjust properly."

"I believe that how you sell is a free sample of how you solve."

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”

“They say the definition of an optimist is someone who believes the future is uncertain, and a pessimist is always right but they derive no satisfaction.”

“I was drifting, like most people do when they come out of university. I thought acting would last about a year. Here we are, 35 years [later]. There was a sort of excursion in those early years where I was also writing my own material with a couple of writing partners. Those were very happy days. I remember feeling the most satisfied and like a human being at the end of those days, more than any day on any film set ever. You know this: Any kind of primary creativity where you actually turn a blank page into something hits a very profound spot and one that is deeply satisfying.”

"They say no one's gonna save you

You've gotta make it on your own

But I called from the dark

And you picked up the phone

On my back in the raging blue

I looked up, and you cut right through

And when I came back empty-handed

You met me in the road

And you fell on my neck

And you took me back home

After all that I took from you

After all that I put you through

Here I am"

As a world waits in impotent frustration,

The Sovereign God of the universe laughs, whistles

And rules from His throne.

The Alpha and Omega determines the end from the beginning.

He raises and deposes kings.

God's designed pauses give opportunities to remember it is not by might,

Nor by power

But by His Spirit

That details of all time are orchestrated.

With God on the throne, I have nothing to fear.

Sovereign Lord, give me peace while I wait—and pray—in your pause.

“America needs Thanksgiving now more than ever. It’s inevitable, due to our battered psyche. This is a nation that’s in pain.”

"We don't use the people to get the work done, we use the work to get the people done."

“There’s nothing older than the idea that this is new.”

“And especially, you don’t want to go to a college where the professors think that students are there to provide them with an audience for indoctrination.”

"Is she an only?"

"Au contraire, she's not our only...she’s our everything."

“Music is liquid architecture; Architecture is frozen music.”

“John Prine was, without a doubt, one of the greatest songwriters this world will ever know. Many people more qualified than me have written about why that is. And many more will follow. Greatest or not, here’s what it comes down to for me and here’s why he rests on my heart’s mountain top: Because he cared enough to look—at me, you, all of us—until he saw what was noble and then he wrapped us up in melodies and sung us back to ourselves. 

That was the miracle of John Prine. And it was enough.”

“I can only coach the person in front of me.”

"Isn't it interesting how life's boomerangs often bring us home?"

"Mankind will never see an end of trouble until lovers of wisdom come to hold political power, or the holders of power become lovers of wisdom."

“There are only two forces that unite men—fear and interest.”

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” 

“After you have exhausted what there is in business, politics, conviviality, love, and so on—have found that none of these finally satisfy, or permanently wear—what remains? Nature remains.”

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

"We recommend coming with a good attitude and a tape measure."

"Booze can be a good servant, but it’s a lousy master."

“Down to Gehenna or up to the Throne,

He travels the fastest who travels alone.”

"When one can see no future, all one can do is the next right thing."

“If you look at the world you'll be distressed. If you look within you'll be depressed. If you look at God you'll be at rest.”

"I can save the day, but you can save the world."

“All you can take with you is that which you’ve given away.”

"Beware, children, you can leave yourself behind. You won't even know when it happened. All children grow up, but some—the wild ones, the ones with the light in their eye—escape."

"I really found what I like to eat by the time I was six. I've saved a lot of experimenting since then, continuing to put a lot of salt on hamburgers and go to it."